10 Signs you should not have a baby
1. You like your house immaculate.
Babies by nature are messy, horrible beings. Not only that, they do not clean up after themselves, which makes them horribly selfish housemates.
Babies are not babies for that long. Soon, they start walking, talking, grabbing, annoying and demanding. The child/teen years last way long than that cute baby stage….and it comes with louder vocal chords.
Really? Sure, you think it would be good for your pet to get used to other people and be more social. You could just invite people over for a BBQ and force your poor unsuspecting pet to have to deal with them, rather than a screaming infant full time. Remember, your animal was there first. Be considerate.
If there is a likelihood that your partner could develop life-threatening allergies to the new baby and you’d have to send it back, don’t risk it. There is no known cure for children, other than prevention. Take care of your partner first. Remember, you chose to live with this person.
Babies are fun, and loving, playful creatures, but they are also living, breathing humans with needs. They get sick, need vaccinations, and need to be exercised, fed and loved daily. Consider their needs first.
Yes, she’s cute, but she might also be a yelper and feisty so might not work living in your home with six cats. Picking a baby that suits your particular needs is vital.
Babies should not be on a plane, ever. Did you not see “Snakes on a Plane”? Same goes for babies. You do not have the right to put 300 people through the torture of listening to your child scream in a pressurised tin can. If you find yourself on an airplane more than in your apartment, get yourself sterilized instead! Also, if you like going to the cinema, rethink your idea to have a baby. They don’t belong there either.
Babies = no sleep for at least 18 years. Studies have shown that it is impossible to ‘catch up’ on missed sleep. Can you survive on no sleep? Think about your health before you breed. Also, if you enjoy your sex life and want to keep having glorious sex, don't have kids.
First of all, your spouse selection was way off. This might be a good “get out of marriage” free card. If, however, you really like this person, you may want to have a long talk. You can’t undo babies after they come out. Also, a spouse who forces you to do something you do not want to do is not someone you should not devote your life to. No one can force you to do something that eternal to your body. You wouldn’t let someone force you into a tattoo would you?
Of course, he was cute, but that’s just not enough reason to make a rash decision. Living creatures are not impulse purchases. Don’t think for a second Angelina Jolie doesn’t wish she’d never stepped foot in Cambodia. Before you get a baby, get a plant and see if you can keep it alive for more than 2 years. Also, what if you accidentally go home with more than one? How will you cope then?
