Fiji

Fiji

Day One:

Left here with a killer hangover. Why? Because I am a fucking idiot. I don’t even have a reason I got hammered the night before. I did it because I could. I’m an idiot.

The flight was delayed leaving and I slept most of the way to Fiji.

When I arrived, I waited 40+ minutes for the hostel people from Mama’s Tropic of Capricorn to come collect me. How. Annoying.

Once I got there, I lugged my bags up 4 flights of stairs to my room. The room had a great view of the beach but was very very basic. I had a single and a double bed, complete with sheets and pillows. That’s it. No duvet. No cover. Just a sheet on each bed. No TV, no tiny fridge, nothing other than the very basics. That’s fine in ways, considering the room was only $30AUD a night, but I know that other very basic rooms had those mod cons, so I was annoyed. The room was good in that I did not share a wall with anyone so I was not annoyed very often by noise.

I had dinner at the hostel, which was ok and reasonably priced but over cooked. I tried the fish dish that appeared to be a local Fijian dish. The fish was REALLY tough, and that annoyed me.

I crashed pretty early, due to the flight and being hungover for most of the day.

Day Two:

I woke up and had breakfast at the hotel. Toast and tea/coffee is all that they offered by way of the ‘free’ breakfasts.

I booked a trip to an island for Saturday, which was hella expensive. I wish I had done more research into how expensive Fiji is. Yeah, it’s an island and a Commonwealth country, but WOW, it was hella expensive, compared with Thailand, which I was regretting not going to.

I took a taxi into town, which cost $10FJD, or about $6 AUD. It’s a very short trip into down and not a single ‘taxi’ has a meter. They just give you a price and you can accept it or not.

I went to a place that had ‘free’ Wifi and I had something to eat and drink. Their free Wifi was spotty and dropped out frequently. It was also not free, as you needed to buy something. While I can get behind that idea, I would also prefer that free mean free.

After that, I wandered around the town a bit. It was stinking hot hot hot and I wished I had been more prepared for the heat. Not much to see in the main town. I made it to the end of the street and found a temple. It was about 1130am and sweltering hot. I debated going into the temple, but taking off your shoes and walking on the scorching pavement barefoot was required. No. Thanks.

After that, I wandered back to town and talked to the girl who was operating the visitor’s info booth. She convinced me to sign up for a timeshare talk in order to get a free day cruise. Why not? I can listen to salesmen and not buy anything, so all good.

As I was talking to her, a guy walked up and asked how to get back to New Town beach area, where I am staying. The girl at the booth suggested that we share a taxi rather than waiting for the bus. After I ran into the supermarket to get water, we hopped in a taxi. That trip was only $7 to the hostel, whereas my trip into town was $10. Sigh. I hate feeling ripped off.

I ate dinner at the hostel again and ended up talking to a nice couple from Melbourne and the owner of the hostel most of the night. Sadly, I might have had a bit too much to drink and said things that I shouldn’t have. Oops.

Day Three:

I went on the day cruise I had booked, feeling a little worse for wear. Why do I do this?

Once at the terminal, it was pretty easy to get checked in and then just wait for the boat. At Port Denarau, it’s very American and it’s rather annoying and expensive.

I got on the boat and grabbed a decent seat near a window, downstairs, out of the sun at a small table. Sadly, I was joined by a rather loud, obnoxious Italian family. Thanks, guys. UGH.

We finally made it to Beachcomber Island, which is very pretty. Somewhere along the way, my camera button got hit/turned and ended up on Shutter Speed Priority rather than Auto/Daylight, so I lost about 50+ pics. Thankfully, most of them were while I was at the island, so I was able to re-take them. @!&*#!*^@*!!!!!!!

I went snorkelling, which is always good. I think my underwater camera shit itself though, which really annoys me. I don’t want to buy a new one but I will. I like having a shock resistant/underwater camera. Not that I go underwater all that often, but they are good to have. I wish Canon made one.

Lunch was yummy. Some dickface decided I was invisible and cut in queue right in front of me. I coughed and shot him massive dirty looks but he was being a total cunt and ignored me. I fucking hate people.

After lunch, I wandered around the island, taking pics. I went swimming for a bit but it was stinking hot, so I could not be outside too long.

It started to rain halfway through the afternoon. I sat inside reading. The boat was meant to come at 430-5ish and didn’t show til almost 6pm. At one point, they announced that we might be staying overnight on the island!!! O_O No thanks.

After a fairly quick ride back to the mainland, I went back to Smugglers Cove for dinner. Fish and chips followed by some yummy beers and a few Bounty (local dark rum) and Cokes. Yum!

They had some local entertainment on, some dancers or the like. That was entertaining.

Day Four:

The sales pitch I signed up for was on this morning, so I had breakky and waited for the van to come and get me.

I went to the Wyndham Vacation Resorts for the sales pitch. Nice place in Port Denarau, which is VERY American.

These sales pitch people are GOOOOOOOOD. They’re really good at using your name, relating to you and making you think that what they have, you want. I knew I would never buy anything from them. I can find better deals online. I sat through their talk, the video and tried to relate to the guy who was talking to me. All good. It meant I got a free trip on Wednesday, so it was worth it.

Out at Port Denarau, they have all sorts of American style restaurants. Near the resort, there is a Mexican place so I thought I would check it out. $23 for guacamole and chips??? ARE YOU KIDDING??? I ate there, it was ok, but nothing amazing for the price.

They brought me back to the hotel, which was nice. The driver was trying to crack on to me and offered to drive me around the island for the day if I hired a car from his buddy. He also asked me out for a drink on Thursday night. Oh yeah baby. I’ve still got it. :P

I stayed in the room for a bit, since it was really windy and rainy on  the island that afternoon. I went to Smugglers for dinner since there was a Fijian dance troupe on that night and that sounded interesting.

I had heaps to eat that was yummy and a number of Vonu beers. Love the food there.

When the dancing started, it was very enjoyable to watch. The table of cougars sitting near me thought it was VERY enlightening. The British guys behind me were talking about how it was a “no cougar night” and yet, by the time I left, they were sitting with them and drinking and talking. LOL. Suckers.

Day Five:

I broke down and hired a car so I could get around. I drove out to the Coral Coast and it was pretty but I could have done without it.

I had a passable lunch and a nice swim in the ocean.  I had a nice drive and saw some cool villages. It was nice to be outside and free without worrying too much, but the highway was pretty shit so it made it not so fun.

I tried a pop called “Enjoy Pops Kola” that tasted like a combo between cheap cola and cream soda. I loved it!!!!

Once I got back, I cleaned up and chilled out around the hotel for a bit. I decided to go out to find some Japanese food. There was a place right at the end of the road, so that was helpful. The food was AMAZING. I laughed when the waitress came back after I ordered and said that I had ordered a lot of food and they were worried I would not be able to eat it all. LOL. You people DO NOT KNOW ME!!!!  I had tuna sashimi, some gorgeous dish with raw fish and coconut milk called Kokoda, the special gyoza (which so did not look like gyoza) and veggie tempura. It was really yummy. I highly suggest Diakoku if anyone goes to Nadi.

Day Six:

I decided to go to Lautoka for the day. I was going to drive further to Ba, but when I got to Lautoka, I was starving and needed to pee, so I stopped.

Clearly, Lautoka is Little India in Fiji because every second person I saw was Indian and the shops catered to the Indian population. I went into the shopping centre and had to pay to use the toilet. 20cents, but still?

A guy on the street stopped me and was super friendly, as most people are in Fiji, but this guy was trying to get me to buy a wooden knife he carved. Do they not know how tough it is to get wood into Australia??? NOT FUN PEOPLE!

I went to a cheap place for lunch that more or less did KFC style chicken and had magazines from 2000. Awesome.

After snooping around and checking out the market, I headed back to town. I passed by a beach turnout so I took it. It was down a dirt and very rough road and the beach was clearly a local beach without any fancy sand or pubs. A group of boys playing rugby almost nailed me in the head with a ball and were most apologetic.

I went back to Nadi town and stopped at a pub on the way for their beer and steak night. Was yummy but I needed more beer and steak for the price paid.

Day Seven:

This was the day of my South Sea cruise that I earned by listening to the sales pitch the other day. A guy from my hotel was going on the same boat and we chatted. He’s a teacher from Ireland. Lovely guy. He was heading out to one of the far away islands for 2-3 nights with some buddies.

I got to South Sea Island and discovered that my eReader was dead WTF?!?!? I was GUTTED.  Here I am, on an island, with nothing to read??? WRONG! I went snorkelling, got a bit sunburnt and had a decent lunch. Sadly, my lunch table was encroached upon by some very annoying bogan Aussies. No, I did not offer my table for you to sit at. No, I do not need you shouting at each other. Just fuck off.

We left to do ‘island hopping’ which means we drive past them on the boat but we never got off the boat to explore. SAD.

We got back to the Port and the bus refused to take us to the resort. It dropped us on the road near the Japanese place I went to the other night. WHAT A RORT! I should NOT be paying for a taxi to get me home when the bus was meant to do that!!!! ASSHOLES!!!!

I went to Smugglers for dinner and had their steak and lobster, which was not enough lobster or steak or food, if you ask me for the price. I stuck around for the fire dance as well, since last time, I had a rather poor seat and I wanted to see the action up close. Again, I enjoyed it and the dancers were HOT HOT HOT.

Day Eight:

Last full day in Fiji. I didn’t do much, other than drive around and take pics. I had lunch at a place called Tata’s, which is TOTALLY like Hooters, except served by a half-blind Indian guy. Ok, so not at all like Hooters. Food was good and cheap, which was great.

Went to Sitar for dinner and had AMAZING Indian food. It made up for the ok lunch at Tata’s.

I went back to Smuggler’s or the Kava ceremony, which is ground root that the Fijians drink. It was GOD AWFUL and tastes like dirt. BUT….it’s such an amazing experience to have a kava ceremony with native Fijians. Loved it.

Ended up chatting with a few English kids who were staying at my guest house. Nice kids. Wish I were that young.

Day Nine:

My flight did not leave til 8pm. WHAT THE FUCK??? WHO BOOKED THAT SHIT???? Oh wait….me. Sigh.

I stayed in my room as long as I could. I might have been able to stay there all day, since they seemed relatively clueless as to the date/time of my check out.  Damn.

I finally left at about noon and toured the town, ate, drove about town and then ate and drank more.

Seriously, I did NOT plan this trip well.

Plane came back to BNE more or less on time. THANK GOD. I just wanted to get some since about Tuesday.

I should have done more Fiji research. I didn’t hate it but I did not love it.

Hey Stavros, there's one guy in bathroom trying to escape without paying. (AKA Laos Days 6 & 7)

Day Six: I had planned to find a tour of some sort today. Within moments of walking down the street, SUCCESS!!!!! A tuktuk operator asked me if I wanted to go to the Kuang Si waterfalls. I said sure. He said he had 5-6 other people and just needed a couple more. Cool. I was to meet back at his tuktuk at 1030. Easy.

I wandered off in search of food. On my travels, I found a place that did the fish pedicure! I was so so so happy. I had been wanting to try this ever since Clare said that she had it done in Singapore. I dunno if my feet repel fish, but I did not have a good go at it. Also, when I went to leave, the girl at the front was no where to be seen. I had seen her leave on a scooter about 10 mins after I got there, but assumed she had returned. I but my shoes on and walked down the street, towards some of the shops, thinking she might have been getting breakfast or something. No sign of her and no one stopped me. I wasn’t about to leave money just lying on the table at the front of the shop either. I wandered around the area for about 15 minutes before I had to head back to grab breakky and my tuktuk, so I left.



I had a baguette and a nice smoothie for breakky. I could have eaten more…and did later on when I bought a chicken and cheese crepe and a Beer Lao before getting to the tuktuk. Nothing says SE Asia like a crepe wrapped in a Little Mermaid paper container!! When I met up with the driver again, we stood on the street waiting for a bit. A friend of his pulled up on a scooter and motioned to me to hop on. OH-Kay? Where are you taking me? He drove down one of the side streets and we stopped near a van. There was an older guy there as well. Turns out, I was not going to the falls via tuktuk, but via van with 5-6 others. Ok. After collecting a few more people, we were finally off.





Once we got to the Kuang Si falls, after a fairly harrowing ride through the mountains, it was very nice and peaceful. Lots of people milling about, but I just wandered slowly through the paths, taking pics and stopping. I eventually ventured into the water as well. It was fucking cold but it felt really nice once I got in.



Also, nothing is classier than a tourist in her underwear swimming. LOL.



After a swim, I went off in search of a place to sit and chill out. I ordered some BBQ pork, sticky rice and beer from one of the random ladies along the souvenir trail. I also gained 2 new puppy friends while I tried to eat in peace. Damn dogs. I saw Kevin, the American who was with our van, sitting alone at one of the places next to where I was eating and went to talk to him. Nice guy. He lives and works in Kenya. We were joined by a Korean guy who was alone as well for a bit. Finally, we headed back to LPB. Along the way, we stopped in a Humong village and they tried to sell us scarves and bracelets. I bought one that reads “Nice weather isn tit”. LOL. Our van driver threw a rat in the back of the van, which he bought from the boys at the village. WHAT? Niiiiiiiice.





We finally made it back to the town and I made my way home after being dropped off at the wrong end of the street from where I was staying. It was semi-useful, as I found a chemists on the way and they had valium cheap. Sweet. I also popped into a tourism shop to book a trip to the Pak Ou Caves for the next day.

I showered and changed and chilled for a bit before heading out for something to eat. I had read about this restaurant across the river that was quite good so I thought I would check it out. You can walk across a bridge or the boat will take you. Earlier that morning, the bridge had only been ¾ completed, so I assumed I would be taken across in a boat. Nope. Bridge was done…although I seriously doubt any engineers were around to test its integrity. I made it across but holy, that was freaky. When I made it to the other side, 2 Americans were coming to cross back over. They asked if the bridge was fixed because they came over via boat. I said it was ‘fixed’, if you want to call it that, but it didn’t feel terribly secure. The one man said I would not have wanted to come via boat either. YIKES!!!



Dinner was a yummy hot pot of beef and veggies with various sauces. I had a couple of cocktails, since they were on special and a Beer Lao. I also made another canine friend who stayed at my feet pretty much all through dinner. They served me a starter of fried eggplant, which by the time my dinner arrived, was cold. I chucked the eggplant pieces on the hot pot to warm them up. I had 8 pieces and after I placed each piece on the hot cooker, a staff member felt the need to tell me that they were already cooked. OMG I KNOW THAT!!! I just want t heat them up!!! Sheesh.







I made my way back across the bridge, not wanting to have too many Beer Lao before attempting to walk back. On the way up a side street, I noticed a small bar, called Ikon Bar. There were various pictures of authors and writers and actors hung outside and I could hear really good music, so I went in. The owner, Lisa, is FABULOUS. She is Hungarian but has been in Laos for 12+ years. She makes some of the most awesome cocktails. My first one was a Bi-Polar Bear. LOL. It was sweet and spicy all at once. I was sitting next to a guy named Jason from Alaska and we spent the next 2 hours talking about movies. A Polish guy had come in about half way through that and when Lisa said the bar was closing, the Polish guy turned to us and said “I’m sorry, but you just spend almost 2 hours talking about movies?” Jason and I just looked at him and nodded and laughed. Good times.



Luang PraBang has a curfew. All businesses must be shut by 2330. YIKES. Lisa kicked us out and by the time I got back to my guest house, it was locked up tight! I thought I was ok, since my room had a door facing the street, I could go in that way. WRONG! I was locked out!! I rattled the door a little and knocked on the glass, really scared I would be sleeping on the ground outside my room. After a couple of minutes, a guy came to let me in, thankfully.

Day Seven: I woke up feeling a little worse for wear. Actually, I felt like shit. Too many cocktails. Ouch. But, I had a tour booked to the caves, so I dragged my arse out of bed and went there. I should know that Laos time is at least 30 mins to an hour after what it says. I was told to be there at 8am but no one was even there. Ugh. When they finally opened the shop, I stood around waiting. Once again, I was taken on the back of a scooter to a place near the water to wait for the boats. There were heaps of people sitting around. We were all given a piece of paper with a number on it and we had to wait for the number to be called to get on that boat.



Eventually, at about 915am, we pushed off to head out to the caves. Rickety boat plus no breakky plus hangover made for a shitful trip out there for me. We stopped at a village on the way (again) to attempt to get us to buy silk and scarves. Sigh. There was a very colourful temple out there with some freaky ass dog statues.





The caves are nice, but you don’t really need more than 20 minutes out there, unless you take the stairs of doom up to the top caves. My god, that was NOT a good idea. It felt like climbing the stairs to the Big Buddha in Hong Kong. UGH. NOT the thing to be doing with a minor hangover. Inside the caves, there were too many people and I panicked a little getting up and down the really steep stairs. People are pushy!





We made it back to LPB just after noon and I went in search of food. LOTS OF FOOD. GIMME ALL THE FOODS! I stopped at one of the first places I came to, partly because they had fried dried sweet buffalo. Why not? I ordered that, fresh rolls and tempura calamari, and of course, a Beer Lao. Hair of the dog was required by this point. I was feeling less than 100%. The buffalo was amazing, but the calamari was a small piece surrounded by heaps of batter. Gross. The fresh rolls were amazing as well with a great mix of coriander, prawn and fresh veggies. YUM!





I went for a head and shoulder massage. I think she spent the entire time on my head, which was annoying. I really needed my shoulders pummelled. I wandered back to my guest house and was still hungry. I think the hangover was on it’s way out and demanding carbs. I grabbed a pizza from the Swedish bakery down the street and sat outside of my room, munching and watching people go by.



I did head into town later in the evening, but was too full to eat anything and did not want to go back to Ikon and relive the horror of the hangover.

Are you a travel agent? (AKA Laos Days 1 and 2)

Laos Day 1: I left Brisbane at noon on Wednesday and flew to Bangkok. Sadly, I had an overnight stay in BKK but not long enough to make it worth going into BKK proper and staying overnight, since my flight was at 1130 AM to Vientiane.



I stayed at the Bangkok YHA Airport, which was nice and close to the airport. They sent a car to collect me. The woman on the phone said to look for a ‘blue car’. She wasn’t wrong. It was blue. ELECTRIC BLUE souped up hot rod. Awesome.







The room was basic, but clean and had its own shower and toilet. Silly me forgot that I should bring towels to a hostel. Oh well. It had aircon and nice pillows. I also arrived on the King’s birthday, so the main street was well lit up with flashing lights and birthday wishes. It was pretty, so I went for a walk after I turned on the AC to cool things down for my return.







I went for a short walk around the area, took heaps of pics and then went home to have a nice drink of Crown and coke, courtesy of Duty Free.



The next morning, I had the most processed, sugary breakfast EVER. The hotel provided 'breakfast'. LOL. Crackers, cookies and a sugary drink. Awesome.







The hostel had Wifi, which was great. I did some research into entry into Lao, since I am an idiot. Passport photos? USD? WHY DID I FORGET THAT PART???? *sigh* BUT…the staff was fabulous and drove all over suburban BKK to find a place open at 830am to take passport photos. They are HILARIOUS. See?



Made it to the airport, checked in, was dinged 700 Baht since I left the airport as a departure tax. Jerks. Grabbed a bite to eat and a beer before the plane to Vientiane, went to the gate and headed to LAOS!!!!



After a nice, short flight to Vientiane, I got my visa at the border. Why Canadians have to pay $42USD for a visa when every other country pays $30 or less is beyond me. Jerks. This alone may push me to get my Aussie passport/citizenship so that I can go back to Laos cheaper.



I cleared customs and the Visa people, grabbed my bag and headed out. When I walked out the doors, I saw the most beautiful sight…EMMA WAS THERE!!!!! She is one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, I have ever met. I was so so so happy to see her.



We grabbed a taxi to hers and dropped bags off. We sat out back in her gorgeous yard and fabulous house and had a BEER LAO!!!! BEER OF THE GODS!!!!!!!! I was so happy. We talked about life, got caught up on things and just relaxed. It felt so good. I may have drank my first beer too fast....







We eventually went into the Spirit House, which is a fabulous cocktail bar in Vientiane. I love it. They make THE BEST cocktails and have some great tapas. Ginga, the manager, asked us to test cocktails for him. OMG YES PLEASE!!!! We had MANY cocktails and Ginga provided more tapas. The aranchini balls, dried beef, fish sticks and Asian bruschetta were yummy yummy yummy!!!!







After that, we went to the Chokdee café, which is a very nice beer bar in Vientiane. I am sure I offended Grégoire by having a Tiger draft beer. Meh. After that, we went home and I offered up the Crown Royal and Canadian Club I brought from Duty Free. I may have been a bit wasted. Oops. I also forgot that I was the only one on holidays. Sorry, Emma!!!





Day Two: I woke up at 4am, which is 7am in Australia. I was AWAKE but hurting. I tried to go back to sleep. I played Angry Birds on my Playberry for a bit and then read. I dosed off and on, only to be awoken by the roosters and the dogs. I must have fallen asleep because when I did wake up, Emma and Grégoire were gone.




I eventually caught a tuktuk into town. Sadly, he took me to the wrong Joma café so it was a bit of a double whammy and I felt very confused and hungover in the hot sun. My bad for not having my map more handy and knowing where I was going. 70,000 kip lesson well learned, DOH! I finally made it to Aria for their all-you-can eat pizza and pasta. CARBS!!!! I met Kelley and her dad, Tucker. They are lovely!!! We had a nice time and the carbs helped the hangover.




After lunch, I wandered about in Lao and found wifi, Beer Lao and a place to sit before meeting Emma and going back to her place. I also went for a massage, but there was a mix up and she started giving me a facial. Oops. We had plans to go to a Xmas party that night. We went back to hers, ate snacks, chatted and just relaxed til it was time to go to the party. The party was nice with very pretty decorations and free-flowing booze and food. We didn’t stay long as Emma was tired, I was still hungover a little (as well as tired from being awake since 4am) so we left. Being at that party made me want to live in Lao more, since the house was just gorgeous.