Hey Stavros, there's one guy in bathroom trying to escape without paying. (AKA Laos Days 6 & 7)

Day Six: I had planned to find a tour of some sort today. Within moments of walking down the street, SUCCESS!!!!! A tuktuk operator asked me if I wanted to go to the Kuang Si waterfalls. I said sure. He said he had 5-6 other people and just needed a couple more. Cool. I was to meet back at his tuktuk at 1030. Easy.

I wandered off in search of food. On my travels, I found a place that did the fish pedicure! I was so so so happy. I had been wanting to try this ever since Clare said that she had it done in Singapore. I dunno if my feet repel fish, but I did not have a good go at it. Also, when I went to leave, the girl at the front was no where to be seen. I had seen her leave on a scooter about 10 mins after I got there, but assumed she had returned. I but my shoes on and walked down the street, towards some of the shops, thinking she might have been getting breakfast or something. No sign of her and no one stopped me. I wasn’t about to leave money just lying on the table at the front of the shop either. I wandered around the area for about 15 minutes before I had to head back to grab breakky and my tuktuk, so I left.



I had a baguette and a nice smoothie for breakky. I could have eaten more…and did later on when I bought a chicken and cheese crepe and a Beer Lao before getting to the tuktuk. Nothing says SE Asia like a crepe wrapped in a Little Mermaid paper container!! When I met up with the driver again, we stood on the street waiting for a bit. A friend of his pulled up on a scooter and motioned to me to hop on. OH-Kay? Where are you taking me? He drove down one of the side streets and we stopped near a van. There was an older guy there as well. Turns out, I was not going to the falls via tuktuk, but via van with 5-6 others. Ok. After collecting a few more people, we were finally off.





Once we got to the Kuang Si falls, after a fairly harrowing ride through the mountains, it was very nice and peaceful. Lots of people milling about, but I just wandered slowly through the paths, taking pics and stopping. I eventually ventured into the water as well. It was fucking cold but it felt really nice once I got in.



Also, nothing is classier than a tourist in her underwear swimming. LOL.



After a swim, I went off in search of a place to sit and chill out. I ordered some BBQ pork, sticky rice and beer from one of the random ladies along the souvenir trail. I also gained 2 new puppy friends while I tried to eat in peace. Damn dogs. I saw Kevin, the American who was with our van, sitting alone at one of the places next to where I was eating and went to talk to him. Nice guy. He lives and works in Kenya. We were joined by a Korean guy who was alone as well for a bit. Finally, we headed back to LPB. Along the way, we stopped in a Humong village and they tried to sell us scarves and bracelets. I bought one that reads “Nice weather isn tit”. LOL. Our van driver threw a rat in the back of the van, which he bought from the boys at the village. WHAT? Niiiiiiiice.





We finally made it back to the town and I made my way home after being dropped off at the wrong end of the street from where I was staying. It was semi-useful, as I found a chemists on the way and they had valium cheap. Sweet. I also popped into a tourism shop to book a trip to the Pak Ou Caves for the next day.

I showered and changed and chilled for a bit before heading out for something to eat. I had read about this restaurant across the river that was quite good so I thought I would check it out. You can walk across a bridge or the boat will take you. Earlier that morning, the bridge had only been ¾ completed, so I assumed I would be taken across in a boat. Nope. Bridge was done…although I seriously doubt any engineers were around to test its integrity. I made it across but holy, that was freaky. When I made it to the other side, 2 Americans were coming to cross back over. They asked if the bridge was fixed because they came over via boat. I said it was ‘fixed’, if you want to call it that, but it didn’t feel terribly secure. The one man said I would not have wanted to come via boat either. YIKES!!!



Dinner was a yummy hot pot of beef and veggies with various sauces. I had a couple of cocktails, since they were on special and a Beer Lao. I also made another canine friend who stayed at my feet pretty much all through dinner. They served me a starter of fried eggplant, which by the time my dinner arrived, was cold. I chucked the eggplant pieces on the hot pot to warm them up. I had 8 pieces and after I placed each piece on the hot cooker, a staff member felt the need to tell me that they were already cooked. OMG I KNOW THAT!!! I just want t heat them up!!! Sheesh.







I made my way back across the bridge, not wanting to have too many Beer Lao before attempting to walk back. On the way up a side street, I noticed a small bar, called Ikon Bar. There were various pictures of authors and writers and actors hung outside and I could hear really good music, so I went in. The owner, Lisa, is FABULOUS. She is Hungarian but has been in Laos for 12+ years. She makes some of the most awesome cocktails. My first one was a Bi-Polar Bear. LOL. It was sweet and spicy all at once. I was sitting next to a guy named Jason from Alaska and we spent the next 2 hours talking about movies. A Polish guy had come in about half way through that and when Lisa said the bar was closing, the Polish guy turned to us and said “I’m sorry, but you just spend almost 2 hours talking about movies?” Jason and I just looked at him and nodded and laughed. Good times.



Luang PraBang has a curfew. All businesses must be shut by 2330. YIKES. Lisa kicked us out and by the time I got back to my guest house, it was locked up tight! I thought I was ok, since my room had a door facing the street, I could go in that way. WRONG! I was locked out!! I rattled the door a little and knocked on the glass, really scared I would be sleeping on the ground outside my room. After a couple of minutes, a guy came to let me in, thankfully.

Day Seven: I woke up feeling a little worse for wear. Actually, I felt like shit. Too many cocktails. Ouch. But, I had a tour booked to the caves, so I dragged my arse out of bed and went there. I should know that Laos time is at least 30 mins to an hour after what it says. I was told to be there at 8am but no one was even there. Ugh. When they finally opened the shop, I stood around waiting. Once again, I was taken on the back of a scooter to a place near the water to wait for the boats. There were heaps of people sitting around. We were all given a piece of paper with a number on it and we had to wait for the number to be called to get on that boat.



Eventually, at about 915am, we pushed off to head out to the caves. Rickety boat plus no breakky plus hangover made for a shitful trip out there for me. We stopped at a village on the way (again) to attempt to get us to buy silk and scarves. Sigh. There was a very colourful temple out there with some freaky ass dog statues.





The caves are nice, but you don’t really need more than 20 minutes out there, unless you take the stairs of doom up to the top caves. My god, that was NOT a good idea. It felt like climbing the stairs to the Big Buddha in Hong Kong. UGH. NOT the thing to be doing with a minor hangover. Inside the caves, there were too many people and I panicked a little getting up and down the really steep stairs. People are pushy!





We made it back to LPB just after noon and I went in search of food. LOTS OF FOOD. GIMME ALL THE FOODS! I stopped at one of the first places I came to, partly because they had fried dried sweet buffalo. Why not? I ordered that, fresh rolls and tempura calamari, and of course, a Beer Lao. Hair of the dog was required by this point. I was feeling less than 100%. The buffalo was amazing, but the calamari was a small piece surrounded by heaps of batter. Gross. The fresh rolls were amazing as well with a great mix of coriander, prawn and fresh veggies. YUM!





I went for a head and shoulder massage. I think she spent the entire time on my head, which was annoying. I really needed my shoulders pummelled. I wandered back to my guest house and was still hungry. I think the hangover was on it’s way out and demanding carbs. I grabbed a pizza from the Swedish bakery down the street and sat outside of my room, munching and watching people go by.



I did head into town later in the evening, but was too full to eat anything and did not want to go back to Ikon and relive the horror of the hangover.

And don't forget--your husband must go with you to China to pick up the baby. (AKA Laos days 3 -5)

Day Three:

The next morning, Emma took me to this darling little place for breakfast. I had a sticky rice pancake, which was way too sweet for me, so I also had soup and a baguette, because I'm a pig. It was an adorable place. I'd have never found it without Emma, so that's awesome. I love small, cosy, yummy places to eat. This was a great place!!







After that, we bummed around the town and went to the best place EVER to buy bootleg DVDs. What a back catalogue!! How fun! :) I could have bought more more more but worry about getting everything into Australia, since they are massive jerks.

We did a little shopping to see if we could find Emma a sofa for her house. Not much luck, but we did have fun zipping around Vientiane. We stopped by the French school’s arts fair and that was fun. I bought some gorgeous earrings and a calendar. It was bloody hot and I wish I had an IV drip of water...or beer. I saw Lara, who I met on my last trip to Lao. She is pregnant and seemingly happily hooked up with a guy now. So happy for her.



Then, Emma said the magic words, “Do you want to have sushi for lunch?” Do I want sushi? Is the Pope Catholic who shits in the woods?! I WANT SUSHI! We went to Fuji and OMG WE HAD SUSHI!!!!!!!! Sashimi, sushi rolls, Beer Laos. BRING IT ON! They sadly did not have edamame! SHOCKED! We had a great lunch and it was fabulous.



After that, we hung out for a bit before heading into town to meet with Grégoire and friends at Sticky Fingers. They were talking about Emma’s Epic Xmas Eve Party, which I was secretly so sad to be missing. They were going to spit roast an animal of some sorts!!! *jealous* Afterwards, we went to the Cope Concert, which was interesting.

http://www.copelaos.org/cope_news_stories.php?WEBYEP_DI=21

The music, in my opinion, was horrible and the MC was OMG annoying. Emma left me there with the promise that I talk to Grégoire before leaving. I should have gone with her because I left shortly after she did. Gwaw (Grégoire’s Lao nickname) showed me to the road and thankfully, we caught Mette and family leaving so they kindly gave me a ride home. On the way to Emma’s, we followed a VERY drunk Lao man on a scooter. It was frightening how much weaving he did in traffic and how hard it was for him to remain upright and on his bike. It was scary. I do hope he made it home ok.

Sat up chatting with Emma when I got home and then went to bed.

Day Four: I woke up fairly early and decided to get into town for eats and proper internet. After internetting (aka playing Angry Birds and properly checking Facebook), I went to Sticky Fingers for breakfast. And Beer Lao. WHAT? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!!!! I had a yummy breakfast of laap, sticky rice and beer. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!!!!!! Beer Lao and laap…the food and beer of the gods. Emma texted me and said she would collect me to go to Kelley’s for the Baci, which was most gracious of her.



I also walked past the abandoned place I took pics of last time I was in Laos. It's still there, but you can't go inside as you used to be able to do. I still took pics.



We went to Kelley’s baci, which is a Lao baby naming ceremony. On the way there, we stopped for drinks and food. You know you're in Lao when you can cruise around on a scooter with baguettes. I'm cool, no?



It was incredibly interesting. They do this thing after the ceremony where you tie a white string on the baby’s wrist and make a wish for the baby’s future. I think it’s a cool idea. One of the old grannies there grabbed my wrist, said a few things to me in Laos and tied a string around my wrist. COOL! You can do this with other guests. I wished Emma all the luck with having a baby and I truly hope she is happy. She's so wonderful, she deserves all the happiness ever.



After that, we went out back to start the party. I’m already one beer in. BRING IT ON! Sadly, they were unable to get Beer Lao, but they did have Tiger Beer, which I also love. They also had two totally slutty Tiger Beer girls serving beer to all the guests. Nothing says baby celebration like slutty beer girls!!!!



The afternoon was awesome. Lots of people came and went. Lots of beer was served. Kelley served me an awesome sugar cane drink, which tasted much better when fortified with 2 fingers of very ice cold vodka. The food was delicious and the conversation was entertaining. Tucker, Kelley’s dad, is a freaking hoot. I love that guy. Loka, the baby, was super cute and had all those adorable baby rolls in all the right places. He reminded me of Sheri’s baby in Hong Kong, Matteo. No, fuck off, I am not clucky. Someone brought amazing tarts to eat. YUM!



We left late into the afternoon and then hung out at Emma’s and ate food and watched TV. We tried to watch Ted, which I had seen. There were no English subtitles, so Gregoire was not into it.

Day Five: My last day in Vientiane. Sigh.

Emma was most gracious, as always, and took me to Joma for breakky/lunch. I had a turkey dinner sandwich, which was turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce on bread served with a side of gravy. OMG I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN!!!!! It was totally yummy. While there, the guy from the Teamworkz website rang me. Teamworkz is an AWESOME website that you should all use if you ever go to Laos, Cambodia or Thailand. The guy who rang was double checking my arrival time and also a few issues with my room booking. Not major issues, just that I would need to move to a different room after the first night for slightly more money. No biggie. I was TRYING to be more chilled and not let travel bumps bother me this holiday. All things considered, I think I did pretty well, since I had NO flights to Luang Prabang booked when I arrived and no hotels booked. GO ME!



We went and did a few errands and then Emma had to go to work. I sat at hers, made sure I had all the things packed for my flight to Luang Prabang and just relaxed. I took a tuk tuk to the airport, which was interesting. TukTuks are always a fun ride!



Got to the airport in plenty of time, especially since the flight was delayed. I had a Beer Lao at the airport with a serve of some odd fried rice. Their menu was a great example of Engrish and I loved it.



I also made a new friend at the airport. He was pretty cute. See?

An hour later than we should have boarded, we boarded the plane to LPB. FINALLY!



When I landed in LPB, I was met by a guy from the guest house, which was great. I hate dealing with random taxis/tuktuks. The guest house was at the end of the main drag in the centre of town. It was a great guest house. I thought the room was one of the cutest things I have ever seen in a long time. The bed was rock hard, but that’s minor. It had a good aircon and a decent shower, so I am happy. Plus it had a little sitting out area out front of my room, so I could watch the monks walk past.



After getting settled, I wandered out to find food. I went to some random place along the Mekong and had a yummy dinner of grilled fish, sticky rice and….wait for it…Beer Lao. I also tried one of the house cocktails, but nothing beats Beer Lao when it’s sticky hot out and I’m in Lao. I’m sorry, but 10K-12K kip for a 660ml beer trumps all the cocktails ever (except for the ones at Ikon Bar, but that’s coming).



I went to the night market to find a Beer Lao hoodie. Are you sensing a theme? You should….. I bought a hoodie and a silk scarf for more than I should have paid, but meh. I now own a Beer Lao hoodie. I FUCKING WIN AT LIFE. I went back to the guest house and had a few Crown and Cokes and went to bed.

Are you a travel agent? (AKA Laos Days 1 and 2)

Laos Day 1: I left Brisbane at noon on Wednesday and flew to Bangkok. Sadly, I had an overnight stay in BKK but not long enough to make it worth going into BKK proper and staying overnight, since my flight was at 1130 AM to Vientiane.



I stayed at the Bangkok YHA Airport, which was nice and close to the airport. They sent a car to collect me. The woman on the phone said to look for a ‘blue car’. She wasn’t wrong. It was blue. ELECTRIC BLUE souped up hot rod. Awesome.







The room was basic, but clean and had its own shower and toilet. Silly me forgot that I should bring towels to a hostel. Oh well. It had aircon and nice pillows. I also arrived on the King’s birthday, so the main street was well lit up with flashing lights and birthday wishes. It was pretty, so I went for a walk after I turned on the AC to cool things down for my return.







I went for a short walk around the area, took heaps of pics and then went home to have a nice drink of Crown and coke, courtesy of Duty Free.



The next morning, I had the most processed, sugary breakfast EVER. The hotel provided 'breakfast'. LOL. Crackers, cookies and a sugary drink. Awesome.







The hostel had Wifi, which was great. I did some research into entry into Lao, since I am an idiot. Passport photos? USD? WHY DID I FORGET THAT PART???? *sigh* BUT…the staff was fabulous and drove all over suburban BKK to find a place open at 830am to take passport photos. They are HILARIOUS. See?



Made it to the airport, checked in, was dinged 700 Baht since I left the airport as a departure tax. Jerks. Grabbed a bite to eat and a beer before the plane to Vientiane, went to the gate and headed to LAOS!!!!



After a nice, short flight to Vientiane, I got my visa at the border. Why Canadians have to pay $42USD for a visa when every other country pays $30 or less is beyond me. Jerks. This alone may push me to get my Aussie passport/citizenship so that I can go back to Laos cheaper.



I cleared customs and the Visa people, grabbed my bag and headed out. When I walked out the doors, I saw the most beautiful sight…EMMA WAS THERE!!!!! She is one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, I have ever met. I was so so so happy to see her.



We grabbed a taxi to hers and dropped bags off. We sat out back in her gorgeous yard and fabulous house and had a BEER LAO!!!! BEER OF THE GODS!!!!!!!! I was so happy. We talked about life, got caught up on things and just relaxed. It felt so good. I may have drank my first beer too fast....







We eventually went into the Spirit House, which is a fabulous cocktail bar in Vientiane. I love it. They make THE BEST cocktails and have some great tapas. Ginga, the manager, asked us to test cocktails for him. OMG YES PLEASE!!!! We had MANY cocktails and Ginga provided more tapas. The aranchini balls, dried beef, fish sticks and Asian bruschetta were yummy yummy yummy!!!!







After that, we went to the Chokdee café, which is a very nice beer bar in Vientiane. I am sure I offended Grégoire by having a Tiger draft beer. Meh. After that, we went home and I offered up the Crown Royal and Canadian Club I brought from Duty Free. I may have been a bit wasted. Oops. I also forgot that I was the only one on holidays. Sorry, Emma!!!





Day Two: I woke up at 4am, which is 7am in Australia. I was AWAKE but hurting. I tried to go back to sleep. I played Angry Birds on my Playberry for a bit and then read. I dosed off and on, only to be awoken by the roosters and the dogs. I must have fallen asleep because when I did wake up, Emma and Grégoire were gone.




I eventually caught a tuktuk into town. Sadly, he took me to the wrong Joma café so it was a bit of a double whammy and I felt very confused and hungover in the hot sun. My bad for not having my map more handy and knowing where I was going. 70,000 kip lesson well learned, DOH! I finally made it to Aria for their all-you-can eat pizza and pasta. CARBS!!!! I met Kelley and her dad, Tucker. They are lovely!!! We had a nice time and the carbs helped the hangover.




After lunch, I wandered about in Lao and found wifi, Beer Lao and a place to sit before meeting Emma and going back to her place. I also went for a massage, but there was a mix up and she started giving me a facial. Oops. We had plans to go to a Xmas party that night. We went back to hers, ate snacks, chatted and just relaxed til it was time to go to the party. The party was nice with very pretty decorations and free-flowing booze and food. We didn’t stay long as Emma was tired, I was still hungover a little (as well as tired from being awake since 4am) so we left. Being at that party made me want to live in Lao more, since the house was just gorgeous.

I wouldn't give you the dust off my car.

My car, the one that got hit Sept 16th, is STILL NOT FUCKING FIXED YET!

I rang both SmashCare and AAMI and let loose on them today. I am fucking sick of this. I am out of pocket at least $3000 for rental cars. FUCK THIS SHIT. I am so so so so so so so so so so goddamn mad, I am seeing spots.

That fuckstick cuntwad who hit me is going to paaaay and pay dearly.

I leave for Laos on Wednesday, so I don't need a car for 9 days. When I get back, that fucking thing better be fixed. G thinks I should sue them all - AAMI, Smashcare and the fuckwitcunt who hit me. Tempting.....

I should be packing and all I can do is sit here and Google "suing insurance companies". I have no life.

I GO TO LAOS IN 2 DAYS!!! I should be more excited. I am excited because (A) BEER LAO, (B) I get to see Emma, (C) BEER LAO, (D) TRAVEL and (E) BEER LAO!

I need out of here. Lately, even the site of shit around this place is pissing me off.

I have a job next year. YAY! I have to go see Russell on the Wednesday before I fly out and sign a contract. I am concerned, as there is talk of us combining with Research and I do not like this idea. I do not like the Research Dept Head and she is a control freak. I WILL NOT deal with her. NO. Sorry, but no.

Had a fun time at the Xmas party. Michaela changed the movies for the trivia at the last second. Boy, was I pissed.

Basically, I am in a really pissy mood and I need to leave the country NOW.