Set a course for hidden pirate island, AKA Hong Kong!

I spent most of last night in tears. Crying yourself to sleep at almost 41 is just fucking pathetic.

I was watching Winners and Losers and Tiffany announced she is moving to Hong Kong in the show. For a fictional character, I was flooded with a jealousy towards her I can not quite explain. HOW DARE SHE MOVE TO MY HOME!! She's not even a nice person!!! She doesn't DESERVE Hong Kong!!!!

I don't seem to fit in Australia. This place is really hard to break into. Everyone has their set of friends and that's that. Most people are not keen to meet new people....not like in HK where I was meeting new people all the time!

I am astoundingly unhappy in Australia as a country. While I love my job (surrounded by kids from HK and other non-Aussie countries), my husband and my cat, I have nothing else. I can't ring up people and go visit to cure the blues like I could in HK. Failing that in HK, I could just GO somewhere exciting. There was always people somewhere I could meet and talk to. That is not the case here.

As much as living next door to Phil was like living in a war zone, he was at least social and I could pop over, have a beer and a mindless chat and laughs.

I just want to go home. I want to be back in HK. I don't want to be here.

When I went to say goodnight to G, he knew I was bawling but I could not even articulate it to him. What can I say? Being here makes me so fucking miserable sometimes, I can't breathe? How would he react to that? He knows that he is really the only reason I am here. I feel bad that I am not more happy here, that I can't stop thinking about life in HK. My students find is fascinating that I am homesick for HK but not Canada. I've not lived in Canada since 2001. I miss Crawfooty like mad, but with recent developments with Rhonda and my family, I don't want to go back to that for longer than a month.

I SMSd Sophie and she said that she's going on a junk this weekend. *WAIL* I WANNA GO ON A JUNK THIS WEEKEND!!! *WAIL* I WANNA BE IN HK.

12 hours later, I feel as though I could still just burst into tears.

There really is not solution to this, so long as I am married. I can go back to HK for holidays, but that seems to hurt more as I eventually have to leave. I can't move back because G would never come with me. Although, we did ok with the LDR thing in ways. At least this way, I would be less frustrated about the complete and total lack of sex I am getting, since he would not be in the same country. When *I* think about moving back, all I can see are the good things about it...more money, my friends, HK freedom, better travel to SE Asia. I know from G's point of view, all he would see is the bad side...he'd not be able to afford our place on his salary alone, we have the car to pay off, we have Harry, he'd miss me. I'm not saying I would not miss G, because I would, but right now, I feel like I am missing ME and that is fucking unfair.

Fucking Winners and Losers. Y U HAVE TO MENTION HONG KONG AND GIVE ME THE SADS?!?!

A very... thoughtful gift... But it's a surprise!

Someone else on my F-list was talking about how it would be nice if her husband did something for her birthday.

I seem to go through this every year. I know I did last year, when I turned 40. G did nothing. I feel like a loser planning my own birthday.

While I know if I do, at least it will get done, I would like to think that my husband gives two shits enough to know me well enough to plan something.

I don't even want a gift. I don't need any more shit in the house. What I need is 30 days of sex and a nice dinner out. I did mention the sex thing and he just laughed. I AM FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!

I feel completely unappreciated. I thought about his gift for a long while, when it became apparent that he was not going to get his own tickets to the festival. I feel that if I send him a list of places I might like to go and let him pick and leave it to him to choose a time/place, I am still doing all of the heavy lifting. He just has to pick a restaurant/time and make a reservation.

PLUS I AM NOT GETTING MY 30 DAYS OF SEX. This once a week thing is bullshit. BULLSHIT.

The irony in all this is that I am not big on surprises (re: MIL's shit gift last year!) and yet, I would like him to do SOMETHING that shows that he knows what I would like. To his credit, he did suggest sushi, which he knows I could live on.

I dunno. I should not be making a big deal of this. I do this to myself every. fucking. year. What's the definition of insanity? ME!

My birthday falls on a Wednesday, so we could/should go to trivia. I also know that Wednesday is my hell day at work and therefore, I am usually too tired to want to really do anything. I wouldn't mind spending my actual B'day with Alan, Clare, Joe and Anna. They're good people.

Last night, I looked at Japanese restaurants in BNE that I would like to try. What do I do? Send G an email outlining the places to go and suggest that he choose one? Pick one and just do what I always do and plan everything myself? Let it go and just be miserable?

I fucking hate this.

Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?

The zombie walk was yesterday. Was not as much fun as last year. Not sure why. I'm annoyed ever so slightly that I spent money on the festival tix and didn't go in.

Also, I had an awesome costume.

Saw 2 of my students. One did not recognise me but the other did. Always fun.

If you are not on Facebook, here's some photos.

G teaching me how to swing a bat.

Getting ready....that ball was HEAVY!

Getting there....

Having a rest, letting my arm oooooze....

Full blood. I truly hit this one for six!!

Up close and personal

Unimpressed chat is unimpressed....

I already have an idea for a costume for NEXT year....although I would like to re-visit the cricket one again. I have the whites now.

I am SO tired today after the weekend. We also had the student dance on Friday night. The theme was Western.


Lorraine and I

Unimpressed cowgirl is unimpressed

More dressing up this weekend too!! Nothing too fancy/bloody, which is good. I could be a normal cricketer. Nah, that's boring.

I really just want to go home and snuggle with Chat and G all night. /sookiness

You know that feeling you get when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart?

I should update.

G seems ok. He has a doctor's appointment Friday AM so he will chat with the doc about what he needs to do. He's drastically cut back on his smoking (wearing patches and chewing gum). I'm waiting for the "non-smoking bitch" shoe to drop. :P He's also going to talk to the doc about this cholesterol thing.

All in all, he seems ok and that's good. I think this freaked him out more than he wants to admit. I don't know if he told his mum about it this weekend but he did tell me not to call her Friday night when he was in hospital overnight.


Work is work is work. I am flat out with marking and it's OMG BORING at times. I do love it when I get something funny tho. We've been sharing OMG LULZ things students have said. So far, from a report on gun control laws, this is the winner:

"95% of survey participants said that they had never been murdered before."

The other 5%?

My darling Harry has been OMG VOCAL lately. WTF CAT?!?! Just do what cats do. Lay there and sleep. Fucker was mewling and moewing this AM. Woke me up, TWICE. When I got up, he was sleeping next to G on the box he likes. So I poked him repeatedly. Wake ME up, will ya??!! Fucker. Is this because I cut back his dry food to 1/8 cup in the AM and PM before bed? I wonder....


This weekend, we have the student ball and then the Zombie Walk. YAY DRESSING UP! YAY GETTING BLOODY! I have my costumes for both. The student ball is a Western theme. Sure hope that does't offend cowboys. HYUCK! I love Halloween but all this costume wank is fucking annoying. I am going to LOVE my Zombie walk costume. I hope it works the way I hope it does....and does not offend any Aussies. *eye roll*

G has another bromance date tonight. Oh my does he get crusty when I say that!! Tee hee. He and Alan are going to see some Led Zepplin thing. *shrug*


Sachin Tenduklar is up for an Honorary Order of Australia. Sachin is possibly one of the best batsmen ever in cricket, after Don Bradman. HOLY RACIST PANTIES IN A TWIST, AUSTRALIA!!!! Y'all need to build a big ol' bridge and get the fuck over it.

Brisbanetimes? You suck for the wording of this poll:
http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/opinion/political-news/australia-honours-tendulkar-20121016-27oi7.html

"No, it only encourages them."

OH HELL NO! NO! NO!

CourierMail, you are no better with your poll...or the fact that most bogan fuckwits said he should not receive it.

Can I go home now? I'm so so so so so so so tired. I just want to sleep.

If the passengers will look to their right, you will see a sad man.

I am sad sad sad.

Can you see this pic?

This is Jonny and Simone's flat. EMPTY! They are leaving Hong Kong FOR GOOD. WHO DOES THAT?!?!?

I spent so much time in this flat. So much. So many laughs and tears and drinks and dinners. Passing out on the couch after wine and movies. Pass-the-parcel for Abby's birthday. So. Many. Memories.

Bethany posted that pic and I cried. Big fat tears.

My friends are not allowed to leave HK! NO!

I am happy that they moved to New Zealand as they are a bit closer, but it's not Hong Kong!!!

:( :( :(


Troy posted on his FB that he lost a good, old friend this weekend, Melvin. That could only mean Melvin Cleveland. That makes me sad. Melvin was a loveable old coot and crusty but he had a heart of gold and would give you the shirt off his back.

RIP Melvin, you cranky old goat. I love you. I thought of you often, even tho I have not seen you since 1998.

Sad post is sad.

Howdy, neighbors! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?

Is it me? You'd tell me if it was me, right? You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

New neighbours. Landlord said they would be better than the last ones.

The ones beside us took less than a week to have a blow out. Now the young couple in there fight DAILY. LOUD SHOUTY SCREAMING FIGHTS. OMG!

I LOVE YOU JESS, BB, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!
I AM BLAMING YOU FOR THIS FIGHT. GREAT! I'M BLAMING *YOU* FOR THIS FIGHT!
JUST FUCK OFF AND GO STICK A NEEDLE IN YOUR ARM!

The couple at the back? Moved in Saturday afternoon and were fighting by 8pm. Not the "You jerk, you slammed my hand in the corner when moving a bed" type fighting. The type where he slams things, she begs and pleads and cries and it sounds like things are breaking.

I swear, suburbia is looking better all the time.

When G came yesterday, I told him what I heard Monday AM. He said "Ah honey, why don't we have those fights?"

Why? We're fucking adults? The kids next door can't be more than in their early 20s. She's knocked up and he appears to not have a job. Awesome. Young, dumb and full of....

This is what prompted the ML post. We don't fight. I always worry when married couples say that, but we don't. We don't have issues that keep bubbling up. I know there are things I do that annoy him. I know *that look*. He does things that annoy me as well. Rhonda and Troy used to Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I was there for a few. I also thought "Well, better out than in, right?" Apparently not. 20 years later, look where she is. I dunno man. I just don't know.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH?! Can we just have nice neighbours JUST ONCE!?!? I had the screaming hellion children in HK and now I am dealing with what sounds like borderline spousal abuse in Australia. If it wouldn't come back on me, I'd call the cops every fucking time they started up.

Why can't I have nice neighbours who love each other in a non-verbal way?

First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.

It's a fairly well known fact I do not want/like/tolerate kids.

OH BUT YOU'RE A TEACHER!!!!!

Yes...I know...but those little darlings GO HOME at the end of the day. And they don't snot all over me.

Today, I posted in TQC...something I have not done in a while.

http://thequestionclub.livejournal.com/110275101.html?thread=3027932445#t3027932445

I want to reply. I do. But. But. But. No.

What I wanted to say was:

Yes, I'm sorry if that makes me a horrid person in your eyes, but him having a kid pop up right now would change EVERYTHING and I am honest enough with myself and with him to say that NO, that is NOT ok. It's harder for him to say that to me, since it would be more or less impossible to forget giving birth, but the same holds true for him. We are fairly staunch CF-ers and that is a HUGE ASS DEALBREAKER.

If he didn't know, I'm annoyed that she withheld that info.
If he did know, I am extremely pissed he withheld that info from me.

BUT....I know enough about Lutine as a poster to just not engage.

As my Facebook post said....thank GOD for the delete button!!!