Thursday, October 10, 2013

10 reasons not to have a baby

Stolen shamelessly from this post.



10 Signs you should not have a baby

1. You like your house immaculate.
Babies by nature are messy, horrible beings. Not only that, they do not clean up after themselves, which makes them horribly selfish housemates.

2. You love cute babies but children and teens? Not so much.

Babies are not babies for that long. Soon, they start walking, talking, grabbing, annoying and demanding. The child/teen years last way long than that cute baby stage….and it comes with louder vocal chords.

3. Your cat/dog wants a child.

Really? Sure, you think it would be good for your pet to get used to other people and be more social. You could just invite people over for a BBQ and force your poor unsuspecting pet to have to deal with them, rather than a screaming infant full time. Remember, your animal was there first. Be considerate.

4. Your spouse/partner has allergies to dogs or cats.

If there is a likelihood that your partner could develop life-threatening allergies to the new baby and you’d have to send it back, don’t risk it. There is no known cure for children, other than prevention. Take care of your partner first. Remember, you chose to live with this person.

5. You’re bored and think a baby could be fun.

Babies are fun, and loving, playful creatures, but they are also living, breathing humans with needs. They get sick, need vaccinations, and need to be exercised, fed and loved daily. Consider their needs first.

6. But you love your neighbour’s new baby.

Yes, she’s cute, but she might also be a yelper and feisty so might not work living in your home with six cats. Picking a baby that suits your particular needs is vital.

7. You travel more than you are at home.

Babies should not be on a plane, ever. Did you not see “Snakes on a Plane”? Same goes for babies. You do not have the right to put 300 people through the torture of listening to your child scream in a pressurised tin can. If you find yourself on an airplane more than in your apartment, get yourself sterilized instead! Also, if you like going to the cinema, rethink your idea to have a baby. They don’t belong there either.

8. You sleep and you like it. Same goes for sex.

Babies = no sleep for at least 18 years. Studies have shown that it is impossible to ‘catch up’ on missed sleep. Can you survive on no sleep? Think about your health before you breed. Also, if you enjoy your sex life and want to keep having glorious sex, don't have kids.

9. Your spouse wants a baby and you don’t want to cause a fight.

First of all, your spouse selection was way off. This might be a good “get out of marriage” free card. If, however, you really like this person, you may want to have a long talk. You can’t undo babies after they come out. Also, a spouse who forces you to do something you do not want to do is not someone you should not devote your life to. No one can force you to do something that eternal to your body. You wouldn’t let someone force you into a tattoo would you?

10. You stopped at an adoption event and this baby was just sooo cute.

Of course, he was cute, but that’s just not enough reason to make a rash decision. Living creatures are not impulse purchases. Don’t think for a second Angelina Jolie doesn’t wish she’d never stepped foot in Cambodia. Before you get a baby, get a plant and see if you can keep it alive for more than 2 years. Also, what if you accidentally go home with more than one? How will you cope then?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Oishii Sushi in Sunnybank Hills

I went here after searching for good sushi places in Brisbane.

I was not disappointed.

AMAZING sushi.

Their tuna sashimi is a generous and gorgeous red serve of very delicious fish.





The Dynamite roll has a great kick to it without being overpowering on the spice. Will definitely have that again.





I also tried the scallops in garlic butter. Had I been sitting inside, they might have stayed hot longer, but the garlic butter sauce was to die for and the scallops were cooked to perfection.





Great experience at Oishii. Highly recommend it and will be going back as soon as I can.




Oishii Sushi Bar on Urbanspoon

Mr Don Spring Hill

Mr Don is near where I work. I was pretty thrilled when another Japanese place opened in Spring Hill.


Mr Don does good donburi bowls. Tonkatsu, tempura or gyudon. The cost of the average bowl is $8.50 and the serves are of a good size, making it good value for money. I quite like their curry don and the tempura don and/or udon. Tempura takes a little longer, so if you are in a rush, order the curry, gyudon or the many katsu dishes.


Their sushi rolls are a good quick lunch but get in quick because they go quickly.


The staff is lovely and very polite.


Good value for money. Great tasting and quick for those in a hurry






Mr Don on Urbanspoon

Thursday, May 30, 2013

I know it's futile, but I must again point out: there is no dragon.


Futile. Getting my husband to agree with me is futile.

We rent. I'd rather own, but that's a different entry.

We have a yard. It's fucking HUGE. I hate the edging. I hate how weedy and gross it looks. Anna's amazing BF has agreed to fix it. I will pay him.

Part of the reason WHY I want it fixed is that my crazy neighbour leans over my fence and cuts our trees. NOT ALLOWED, DICKFACE!

When I mentioned this to G a while back, his response was "He can cut trees overlapping into his yard and dump the cuttings in ours". Great. HOWEVER, he is not cutting said trees at the fenceline. HE IS LEANING OVER a good foot and cutting. NOT ON, DUDE!

When I mentioned tonight to G that I wanted to sort shit out with the neighbour, he got all high and mighty and "are you sure that is a hill you wanna die on" crap with me. My neighbour is doing the wrong thing and because I want to right it, *I* am in the wrong??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????

Just once, just once, I want my husband to back me 100% and not question it. I'm tired of his excuses. "We have to live next to these people". "Dana is living here and you're not, so better the devil I know". "What do you expect to accomplish by starting this feud?"

JFC MAN! I AM YOUR WIFE! BACK ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

I am so so so so so so so sick of passive aggressive shit. Two of the teachers at my work double PA teamed me in the last 2 weeks and I really want their balls on a platter. Fucking dicks. SEND ME THE EMAILS. I can fix a problem WITH ME sooner than anyone else can. Fucking. WIMPS.

My neighbour is getting a letter. I'm tired of him cutting MY trees in my yard. I am sick of his perving over my fence. I sick of laying down and taking it because G doesn't want the fight. Fuck you. I'm standing up for what is right. When I said that to G, he ADMITTED I am right but what does that accomplish? FUCK YOU, I AM RIGHT!

Homer, are you okay? I'm fine. It's my feelings that are mad.

In other news, and the reason I have all the mad feels today, is our former neighbours, Tia and Polly. They are the lesbian couple that Phil kicked out IN SEPTEMBER 2012, the week before we had our car accident. Since then, we've had their stuff (some of their stuff) under our house. It's not that we don't have the space, but after almost 9 months, enough is enough is enough. I have SMSd them repeatedly to come get their stuff. They don't reply.

I SMSd this Wednesday night and said please come get your stuff bc we're up for lease renewal and might be moving. LIES. We've already re-signed our lease BUT I WANT THEIR STUFF GONE!!!

No reply. I talked to Tony up the road and he said he has a mate who works for Salvos and he'd come get it on Monday. Awesome.

Saturday, Tony came down just as the fridge guy came. JUST as Tony is coming back for load 2, which was almost the end of the girl's stuff, my phone buzzes. GUESS WHO??? Fucking Polly. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?????? No. Oh fuck no. NO. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is what she said (this is going to hurt me to type it, you have to try to read it as I did):
hey T,  its polly, sory hav tkn so lng in getn bak 2 u, havn't had fone. We r bak in Melbourne at the mo wld b bak by fri latest. If thats 2 late let me knw & we wil try organis som1 to cum get stuff. Sory to inconvenience u.

MY EYES! BRAIN! BURSTS! OUCH! JFC you can type out Melbourne and inconvenience but not KNOW or TO??? BLARGH! As Anna asked when I sent this to her "What language is that?" She's not wrong.

EVERYONE told me I was being too nice. Their stuff had been there for almost 9 months. Enough time to have a baby, as Steve pointed out. :P Tony said after 3 months, it's mine and I can do with it as I please. The RTA says 30 days (if it's worth less than $1500). A box of their papers was more or less ruined through the rains this year. Some of their stuff, we went through and it was just old pens and crap, so we binned it.

Tia SMSs me yesterday and says PLEASE do not take it to the Salvos. Ok. Fine. She asked if the paper box we chucked had photos in it. HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW??

They are apparently in Melbourne. Can't find a place to live in Brisbane but they can fly all over the country? WTF???

People keep telling me I am too nice. I feel like a chump.

I'm giving them til this weekend. Then, I am binning it all. I don't need this shit. I don't need their crap cluttering up my life. UGH. JUST NO. NO. They have MAYBE one car load of stuff to move.

This is all Phil's fault. I blame him 100%. CUNT.



Had a great time at Clare's yesterday. DID NOT want to come to work today. At all. It should be a long weekend, goddammit!! Met some cool new people, so that's good. Drank great beer, had good food and lots of laughs. I do adore Alan and Clare.

Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you. Burns: Excellent.


SPOILERS!

I need to get this off my chest about Hannibal.

First episode PISSED ME OFF. Will Graham is NOT 'on the spectrum'. He's just really fucking good at his job. Being good at something =/= autism/idiot savant.
Laurence Fishburne as Crawford? Oh please.
Freddie Loundes as a woman? OH PLEASE X 10.

Mads as Hannibal. GIMME MORE!

My problem lies in that this TV series is all meant to take place BEFORE Hannibal is caught and yet, there are so many references to Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs that I just can't. You can't reference a movie/book where Hannibal is in jail and then use it in a TV series before he is even caught.

Are the directors doing this so we can 'relate'? ANYONE who has seen the movies or read the books knows that a lot of the lines being spoken were shared between Graham and Hannibal while Hannibal was in prison. BLARGH!

Freddie Loundes is really pissing me off. If they are trying to make her a love interest, I will lose my collective shit. She deserves to be set on fire and sent through a parking garage. Just saying.

The more the show goes on, the more Hannibal I see, the more I like it. MORE HANNIBAL, less Graham.

The last episode (#6 for those up to date) felt like the biggest rip off of Silence of the Lambs EVER. While I liked the idea of Eddie Izzard as a baddie, it was not some random who attacked a nurse. Ok, I'll give him creativity points for the way he killed her, unlike the mere eating of her face that Hannibal gave her in the books/movies. The killing of the Junior Clarice pissed me off. If she was as smart as Crawford made her out to be, she's not have been killed. Again, total rip off of the books, only done badly. Hannibal stabbed Graham when he put the pieces together. Graham lived.

Am loving watching Hannibal feed people, especially Crawford and Graham. I don't care what he says, he's feeding them humans. It's awesome.

I can't stop watching but at the same time, I wish they would leave the fucking books/movies alone. This should have all taken place BEFORE Hannibal's capture (AKA: GET YOUR OWN STORY FOR THE TV SHOW). There's not been a book written about that. There are references in the others. I do love the Mason Verger story in the book 'Hannibal'.

Also, for those of you watching The Following, can I just say WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAST EPISODE?!?!?!? How do they expect me to wait another 12 months to resolve this one????!!!!!! Love The Following. LOVE IT.

Hannibal...you better pick your socks up before Joe Carroll becomes my new favourite sociopath.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Wagaya Japanese food

This place is AMAZING. I love the ordering system of the ipad at the end of the table. WARNING! You may order more than you can eat.

The tuna sashimi was melt-in-your-mouth delicious.

The grilled eel, which I have never liked anywhere else I have tried it, will make me try it other places. The sauce on the eel is gorgeous and the eel melts in your mouth.

The rolls could do with less mayo, but that might be my dislike of Japanese mayo.

The gyoza is perfect, soft and well pan-fried with awesome flavour.

They seem to love grapfruit juice in their cocktails. I was somewhat disappointed that the cocktail menu was not clearer as to what was in each drink.

The green tea cheesecake is disgusting. DO NOT ORDER IT. It's as if someone just smashed dried green tea into a day-old cheesecake and re-formed it. AVOID!!

Despite a weird cocktail and a bad taste of someone's dessert, I would highly highly recommend Wagaya to anyone who loves Japanese food.










Wagaya on Urbanspoon

Haveli Indian food

Have been to Haveli twice now. Loved it each time we were there. The curries are well worth the drive from Brisbane to Vic Point.

The onion and spinach pakoras are my fave starters. Their tandoori chicken is beautifully tender and very flavourful. The tugh tikka is amazing. Would highly recommend it. The banquet for 2 feeds at least 3 people, so be VERY hungry when you order.

The curries are really rich in flavour and you can really taste the love and care that they put into making them. The chicken sabji had a great rich flavour with just the right touch of cilantro to make it extra special. The goat curry is a really rich, flavourful serve as well and the meat is exceptionally tender. The mango lamb was delicious with a nice sweet sauce.

The decor of the restaurant is entertaining as well, with private booths if you want a little romantic dinner.

My only concern is the wait staff. They seem less than attentive and their ability to bring out all the necessary items at the right time is less than wonderful. Who eats papadams without the sauces?

http://www.haveli-indianrestaurant.com.au/







Haveli on Urbanspoon

Friday, April 19, 2013

I am a worthless employee, just like Homer Simpson! Give me a promotion!


Yesterday, I was with my September kids in class and R comes in and asks to speak with me at 330, when I am done class.

OMG. WHY? I know I missed the staff meeting in the AM but I SMSd him and said I was at the docs.

Apparently, during the meeting, he was crapping on about the upcoming Audit, which means he will be super busy. Well duh, we all know that.

Due to that, he can't really devote as much time as he should (and has not been doing AT ALL) to Research. He needs help. He needs someone to take on a leading teacher role in Research.

He asked me to do it.

3 weeks ago, I more or less felt like he was going to fire me or at the very least, that my contract would not be renewed. Now, he wants me to do more or less all of the co-ordinators duties (without all the co-od pay). I will be paid a little extra for doing this leading teacher role, but not that much (Maybe $4K a year, which works out to about $70 a week extra! WHHOOOOTTT VEGAS BABY! :P)

Being a teacher, however, is never about the money.

Keeping my job at IES for the future is. I love working there for the most part. I fear if I say no, I will be toast at the end of the year. If I say yes, I will have to work more with R who annoys the fuck out of me. That said, at the same time, I can make sure that Research is some what more organised than it is now. I may have issues trying to get one of the teachers on board, but for the most part, I know I can do this job.

I could type out what he wants me to do, but suffice to say that other than writing Performance Criteria and evaluating the teachers, it's mostly being a co-ordinator of the subject.

I have to let him know by Monday.

Do I want this?

Monday, April 8, 2013

“You turn if you want to. The lady's not for turning."

Margaret Thatcher died yesterday.

I am somewhat grateful (and partly shocked) that my FB feed is not more filled with reactions.

When I said to G last night that she died, his response was "Good", which saddened me.

I grew up in the 80s. My only real memory of anything to do with Thatcher and Reaganomics was his shooting attempt because it was John Hinckley trying to impress Jodie Foster. I love Jodie and that bit of news freaked me out.

I admit to be ignorant to her politics and what she did to England. I'm relatively unaware of her ties to Reagan (who, apparently, my husband hates even more than her).

That said, I am disgusted by articles like this:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/apr/08/margaret-thatcher-death-party-brixton-glasgow
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/2013/04/09/09/54/parties-break-out-to-celebrate-thatcher-s-death

Celebrating someone's death is harsh. I feel like a hypocrite because I am one of the first people to think that something is never OMG TOO SOON, but for some reason, I feel this is so distasteful.

The Maggie who died is not the same Maggie she was when she was in power. She was a frail old woman, suffering badly from dementia.

Writer Mark Millar tweeted: "Anybody sad about Thatcher today has clearly not read a newspaper since 1979."

Well, Mr Millar, I have. There are worse people out there controlling various countries than Ms Thatcher. Hell, even when Hugo Chavez died, I asked one of my students how he felt about it, since he is Venezuelan and very politically minded. This student, at the start of the year, told me about his distrust and dislike of Chavez in no uncertain terms. However, when told of his death, the student admitted to me that he was really unsure how he felt. Would it change his country? Probably not. Could the damage be undone? Probably not. A human life, however polarizing, was still lost and he could not bring himself to celebrate or mourn.

I'm not sad, per se, having no attachement to that era politically but the reactions of people has really made me think about my own rather bleak and perhaps knee-jerk reactions to bad news. Around our house, bad/shocking/sad news of often met with scorn and bad jokes. I can guarantee you don't want to know what was said when the news broke of the Oscar Pistorius shootings or when Steve Irwin died.

I will be interested to see how this plays out in editorial cartoons over the next week. When Steve Jobs died, all the cartoons about his death showed him in 'heaven' and when Quaddafi died, all the cartoons about him showed him in 'hell'. Where will Maggie end up?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cartoon/2013/apr/08/margaret-thatcher-death-steve-bell-cartoon

RIP Maggie. I don't doubt that you made tough choices that hurt the UK but I have to admire you for your convictions.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/apr/08/margaret-thatcher-death-world-reaction

Friday, March 29, 2013

I may just quit my job at the power plant and become a full-time stock market guy.

No, I am not going to quit my job, but I am not as in love with it as I once was.

This research subject, which is all new, is pissing me off to no end. Russell, the eternal tool, decided to talk about it at the staff meeting on Friday but gave NO credit to Veronica, Deb or myself for all the materials we have developed. WTF?!?! RAAAAAAAAAAGE!

We also have this Moodle crap that is all done online, not worth a lick for marks and we have to mark it. I have to be here for 8 hours on a Monday with only 4 hours of teaching. Max wants to add a kid to my class this week in research with a major assessment due on Thursday. Can she catch up, he asked? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?

I also had my meeting with Russell and that was pointless. I truly felt like he was going to can me at the end of it. I hate that man.

I don't regret taking off on Friday and not telling anyone. Screw you.

During the Easter break, I get to do marking. FABULOUS!

Thing is, I still love this place and my students, for the most part. I have a few new drop kicks. At least I don't have Veronica's classes. She had a Middle Eastern student tell her that he wanted out of her class because she's female! This is something that we often face. So far, fingers and toes crossed, none of my Middle Eastern kids have been offended because I am a working woman. Phew.

G's work is hell too. He comes home angry and pissy and I have to just avoid him for 1/2 an hour (at least) when he gets home. Nice. Aren't we a barrel of fun now? It's affecting us more than we both care to admit. At least I am in therapy, which is proving helpful. I think G could use it too.



Still no word back from Rhonda, which is just fine with me. Troy got remarried, which I sooooooooo wanna gloat about, but I want nothing from her, so why open that wound?

Had Clare's 40th birthday this weekend and it was a bit crazy. Lots of drinking and people. Hiring a hosueboat when it says it sleeps ten is like expecting a tent to actually sleep 10 people. No. Yes, the boat had room for 10 BUT it would have been better if there had been maybe 6 or 8 people tops. We had fun. I drank too much but at least I did not get as maudlin and stroppy as Clare. Oh she was off her tits and it was not pretty. She was whinging about Alan and he was just inside the boat cabin and heard EVERYTHING she said. When I went in to go to the loo, he looked so so so hurt by all that she was saying. She did say some pretty awful things. She hinted that she might have to dump him if he didn't smarten up.

We played trivia a couple of nights so that was fun. One night, we did Clare trivia which she liked. Alan, her husband, didn't think it would go down well, but she loved it. She is very much an attention whore at times.

I have to admit I felt a few pangs of envy because my husband did NOTHING for my 40th - something I am still bitter about. I know he is not into these things, BUT I ASKED HIM!!!! Nothing. Nada. Not even a cupcake.

I know Clare is upset mostly due to lack of work, but her husband does a lot to keep her happy and to show her that he loves her. She should respect that more. I dunno. I just know how unappreciated I feel most of the time. *shrug* Everyone is different.

We have dinner with them this Wednesday to celebrate her actual birthday. Should be fun!

It was a LOOOOONG weekend with 8 other people around us at all times. I know G is suffering from all the socialising. He hid out for a lot of the weekend, too, either napping or smoking, leaving me to be all social and shit. *sigh*

Sophie is taking her sweet time getting back to me about the Junk trip in HK in July. That's worrying me too. I want that to happen, so I hope she replies soon. I might have to try to call her over the Easter break.

Monday, February 4, 2013

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Fiji
Day One:
Left here with a killer hangover. Why? Because I am a fucking idiot. I don’t even have a reason I got hammered the night before. I did it because I could. I’m an idiot.

The flight was delayed leaving and I slept most of the way to Fiji.

When I arrived, I waited 40+ minutes for the hostel people from Mama’s Tropic of Capricorn to come collect me. How. Annoying.

Once I got there, I lugged my bags up 4 flights of stairs to my room. The room had a great view of the beach but was very very basic. I had a single and a double bed, complete with sheets and pillows. That’s it. No duvet. No cover. Just a sheet on each bed. No TV, no tiny fridge, nothing other than the very basics. That’s fine in ways, considering the room was only $30AUD a night, but I know that other very basic rooms had those mod cons, so I was annoyed. The room was good in that I did not share a wall with anyone so I was not annoyed very often by noise.

I had dinner at the hostel, which was ok and reasonably priced but over cooked. I tried the fish dish that appeared to be a local Fijian dish. The fish was REALLY tough, and that annoyed me.

I crashed pretty early, due to the flight and being hungover for most of the day.

Day Two:
I woke up and had breakfast at the hotel. Toast and tea/coffee is all that they offered by way of the ‘free’ breakfasts.

I booked a trip to an island for Saturday, which was hella expensive. I wish I had done more research into how expensive Fiji is. Yeah, it’s an island and a Commonwealth country, but WOW, it was hella expensive, compared with Thailand, which I was regretting not going to.

I took a taxi into town, which cost $10FJD, or about $6 AUD. It’s a very short trip into down and not a single ‘taxi’ has a meter. They just give you a price and you can accept it or not.

I went to a place that had ‘free’ Wifi and I had something to eat and drink. Their free Wifi was spotty and dropped out frequently. It was also not free, as you needed to buy something. While I can get behind that idea, I would also prefer that free mean free.

After that, I wandered around the town a bit. It was stinking hot hot hot and I wished I had been more prepared for the heat. Not much to see in the main town. I made it to the end of the street and found a temple. It was about 1130am and sweltering hot. I debated going into the temple, but taking off your shoes and walking on the scorching pavement barefoot was required. No. Thanks.

After that, I wandered back to town and talked to the girl who was operating the visitor’s info booth. She convinced me to sign up for a timeshare talk in order to get a free day cruise. Why not? I can listen to salesmen and not buy anything, so all good.

As I was talking to her, a guy walked up and asked how to get back to New Town beach area, where I am staying. The girl at the booth suggested that we share a taxi rather than waiting for the bus. After I ran into the supermarket to get water, we hopped in a taxi. That trip was only $7 to the hostel, whereas my trip into town was $10. Sigh. I hate feeling ripped off.

I ate dinner at the hostel again and ended up talking to a nice couple from Melbourne and the owner of the hostel most of the night. Sadly, I might have had a bit too much to drink and said things that I shouldn’t have. Oops.

Day Three:
I went on the day cruise I had booked, feeling a little worse for wear. Why do I do this?

Once at the terminal, it was pretty easy to get checked in and then just wait for the boat. At Port Denarau, it’s very American and it’s rather annoying and expensive.

I got on the boat and grabbed a decent seat near a window, downstairs, out of the sun at a small table. Sadly, I was joined by a rather loud, obnoxious Italian family. Thanks, guys. UGH.

We finally made it to Beachcomber Island, which is very pretty. Somewhere along the way, my camera button got hit/turned and ended up on Shutter Speed Priority rather than Auto/Daylight, so I lost about 50+ pics. Thankfully, most of them were while I was at the island, so I was able to re-take them. @!&*#!*^@*!!!!!!!

I went snorkelling, which is always good. I think my underwater camera shit itself though, which really annoys me. I don’t want to buy a new one but I will. I like having a shock resistant/underwater camera. Not that I go underwater all that often, but they are good to have. I wish Canon made one.

Lunch was yummy. Some dickface decided I was invisible and cut in queue right in front of me. I coughed and shot him massive dirty looks but he was being a total cunt and ignored me. I fucking hate people.

After lunch, I wandered around the island, taking pics. I went swimming for a bit but it was stinking hot, so I could not be outside too long.

It started to rain halfway through the afternoon. I sat inside reading. The boat was meant to come at 430-5ish and didn’t show til almost 6pm. At one point, they announced that we might be staying overnight on the island!!! O_O No thanks.
After a fairly quick ride back to the mainland, I went back to Smugglers Cove for dinner. Fish and chips followed by some yummy beers and a few Bounty (local dark rum) and Cokes. Yum!

They had some local entertainment on, some dancers or the like. That was entertaining.

Day Four:
The sales pitch I signed up for was on this morning, so I had breakky and waited for the van to come and get me.

I went to the Wyndham Vacation Resorts for the sales pitch. Nice place in Port Denarau, which is VERY American.

These sales pitch people are GOOOOOOOOD. They’re really good at using your name, relating to you and making you think that what they have, you want. I knew I would never buy anything from them. I can find better deals online. I sat through their talk, the video and tried to relate to the guy who was talking to me. All good. It meant I got a free trip on Wednesday, so it was worth it.

Out at Port Denarau, they have all sorts of American style restaurants. Near the resort, there is a Mexican place so I thought I would check it out. $23 for guacamole and chips??? ARE YOU KIDDING??? I ate there, it was ok, but nothing amazing for the price.

They brought me back to the hotel, which was nice. The driver was trying to crack on to me and offered to drive me around the island for the day if I hired a car from his buddy. He also asked me out for a drink on Thursday night. Oh yeah baby. I’ve still got it. :P

I stayed in the room for a bit, since it was really windy and rainy on  the island that afternoon. I went to Smugglers for dinner since there was a Fijian dance troupe on that night and that sounded interesting.

I had heaps to eat that was yummy and a number of Vonu beers. Love the food there.

When the dancing started, it was very enjoyable to watch. The table of cougars sitting near me thought it was VERY enlightening. The British guys behind me were talking about how it was a “no cougar night” and yet, by the time I left, they were sitting with them and drinking and talking. LOL. Suckers.

Day Five:
I broke down and hired a car so I could get around. I drove out to the Coral Coast and it was pretty but I could have done without it.

I had a passable lunch and a nice swim in the ocean.  I had a nice drive and saw some cool villages. It was nice to be outside and free without worrying too much, but the highway was pretty shit so it made it not so fun.

I tried a pop called “Enjoy Pops Kola” that tasted like a combo between cheap cola and cream soda. I loved it!!!!

Once I got back, I cleaned up and chilled out around the hotel for a bit. I decided to go out to find some Japanese food. There was a place right at the end of the road, so that was helpful. The food was AMAZING. I laughed when the waitress came back after I ordered and said that I had ordered a lot of food and they were worried I would not be able to eat it all. LOL. You people DO NOT KNOW ME!!!!  I had tuna sashimi, some gorgeous dish with raw fish and coconut milk called Kokoda, the special gyoza (which so did not look like gyoza) and veggie tempura. It was really yummy. I highly suggest Diakoku if anyone goes to Nadi.

Day Six:
I decided to go to Lautoka for the day. I was going to drive further to Ba, but when I got to Lautoka, I was starving and needed to pee, so I stopped.

Clearly, Lautoka is Little India in Fiji because every second person I saw was Indian and the shops catered to the Indian population. I went into the shopping centre and had to pay to use the toilet. 20cents, but still?

A guy on the street stopped me and was super friendly, as most people are in Fiji, but this guy was trying to get me to buy a wooden knife he carved. Do they not know how tough it is to get wood into Australia??? NOT FUN PEOPLE!

I went to a cheap place for lunch that more or less did KFC style chicken and had magazines from 2000. Awesome.

After snooping around and checking out the market, I headed back to town. I passed by a beach turnout so I took it. It was down a dirt and very rough road and the beach was clearly a local beach without any fancy sand or pubs. A group of boys playing rugby almost nailed me in the head with a ball and were most apologetic.

I went back to Nadi town and stopped at a pub on the way for their beer and steak night. Was yummy but I needed more beer and steak for the price paid.

Day Seven:
This was the day of my South Sea cruise that I earned by listening to the sales pitch the other day. A guy from my hotel was going on the same boat and we chatted. He’s a teacher from Ireland. Lovely guy. He was heading out to one of the far away islands for 2-3 nights with some buddies.

I got to South Sea Island and discovered that my eReader was dead WTF?!?!? I was GUTTED.  Here I am, on an island, with nothing to read??? WRONG! I went snorkelling, got a bit sunburnt and had a decent lunch. Sadly, my lunch table was encroached upon by some very annoying bogan Aussies. No, I did not offer my table for you to sit at. No, I do not need you shouting at each other. Just fuck off.

We left to do ‘island hopping’ which means we drive past them on the boat but we never got off the boat to explore. SAD.

We got back to the Port and the bus refused to take us to the resort. It dropped us on the road near the Japanese place I went to the other night. WHAT A RORT! I should NOT be paying for a taxi to get me home when the bus was meant to do that!!!! ASSHOLES!!!!

I went to Smugglers for dinner and had their steak and lobster, which was not enough lobster or steak or food, if you ask me for the price. I stuck around for the fire dance as well, since last time, I had a rather poor seat and I wanted to see the action up close. Again, I enjoyed it and the dancers were HOT HOT HOT.

Day Eight:
Last full day in Fiji. I didn’t do much, other than drive around and take pics. I had lunch at a place called Tata’s, which is TOTALLY like Hooters, except served by a half-blind Indian guy. Ok, so not at all like Hooters. Food was good and cheap, which was great.

Went to Sitar for dinner and had AMAZING Indian food. It made up for the ok lunch at Tata’s.

I went back to Smuggler’s or the Kava ceremony, which is ground root that the Fijians drink. It was GOD AWFUL and tastes like dirt. BUT….it’s such an amazing experience to have a kava ceremony with native Fijians. Loved it.

Ended up chatting with a few English kids who were staying at my guest house. Nice kids. Wish I were that young.

Day Nine:
My flight did not leave til 8pm. WHAT THE FUCK??? WHO BOOKED THAT SHIT???? Oh wait….me. Sigh.

I stayed in my room as long as I could. I might have been able to stay there all day, since they seemed relatively clueless as to the date/time of my check out.  Damn.

I finally left at about noon and toured the town, ate, drove about town and then ate and drank more.

Seriously, I did NOT plan this trip well.

Plane came back to BNE more or less on time. THANK GOD. I just wanted to get some since about Tuesday.

I should have done more Fiji research. I didn’t hate it but I did not love it.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I need something that will keep me awake, alert, and reckless all night long. (AKA Laos to the end)

Day Eight: Woke up feeling better and ready for my last full day in Laos. I had no real plans but thought I would wander the town and check things out. I had breakky at the noodle lady next to my hotel, which was awesome. Fresh noodles, super cheap, filled with all sorts of delicious herbs and veggies. I wished I had eaten there daily. My bad. Laos 2012

I wandered around town, just taking in the sites and enjoying Laos. I stumbled across a different temple tucked in behind some old buildings. I took a walk through there and took pics. Eventually, the mid afternoon heat got to me and I went to Lao Lao for lunch, as it came highly recommended by many travellers. I had buffalo laap, sticky rice and Beer Lao. I also inherited a pet cat for the duration of my meal. I treated myself to sticky rice with mango for dessert. Very great place to eat and it was nice and quiet.

Laos 2012 Laos 2012 Laos 2012 Laos 2012 Laos 2012 Beer Lao in a Tiger mug. BLASPHEMY!!!!!

After eating, I went back to wandering and taking more pictures. It’s nice in Laos to be able to walk pretty much everywhere and not worry too much about where you are, as all roads seem to lead back to the main area of town. As I headed back to the guest house, I walked past the night market setting up. Of course, someone was wanting me to buy more scarves and silk. Scarves when it’s 25+ degrees? Are you kidding? No thanks…

Laos 2012

After a chill out at the hotel with some Crown Royal, I went to find a place to eat. I’d walked past this place called The Indestructible Rock a few times and thought it looked interesting. They had a set menu that looked good. After some explaining that I wanted that, which included me taking them to the sign out front and pointing, I had dinner on the way. Dinner was amazing, with some dishes I was not 100% sure what I was eating, but that’s all part of the fun!

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I went back to the Ikon Bar for a few drinks. There was a couple in there from Texas and they seemed quite nice. I tried a few new cocktails of Lisa’s. She let me try one that had gin in it, but that was not so good. I am not a gin girl. I did try her “Very good Shot” shooter, which was Jager and Peach. Not the best shot, but still pretty good. :) She seriously makes the best cocktails I have ever had. Is it wrong to want to go back to Lao solely to go back to Ikon? I think not.

Laos 2012 Laos 2012

I left the bar in time to make it back before I was locked out. WRONG! I got home before curfew and was still locked out!! WTF!!! Thankfully, again, a slight door rattle roused someone to let me in. Day Nine (Last day, sniff): I woke up and went next door for more noodles. Must have the yummy yummy noodles. Since I had to leave the hotel by 12, but my flight was not til 4pm, I had to get all packed up so that they could clean my room. I walked around town again, just taking pictures of all the fabulous buildings and sites. I ran into the couple from Dallas again and sent them on their way to the market. I eventually had lunch, which was sadly, not the best meal I had in Laos. I should have gone back to Lao Lao, had I known. OH well. Live and learn.

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Eventually, they took me to the airport and that was easy enough. My Lao send off was a construction worker cat calling me as I walked over to get a drink before leaving. Nice. Gotta love it.

Laos 2012 Laos 2012

The flights home were uneventful, with the exception of the prick next to me on the flight to Brisbane who was annoyed that I had a sniffly nose. I love Laos. It is one of the best places on earth to go visit and I strongly suggest that everyone go there before it gets too touristy.