Howdy, neighbors! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?

Is it me? You'd tell me if it was me, right? You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

New neighbours. Landlord said they would be better than the last ones.

The ones beside us took less than a week to have a blow out. Now the young couple in there fight DAILY. LOUD SHOUTY SCREAMING FIGHTS. OMG!

I LOVE YOU JESS, BB, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!
I AM BLAMING YOU FOR THIS FIGHT. GREAT! I'M BLAMING *YOU* FOR THIS FIGHT!
JUST FUCK OFF AND GO STICK A NEEDLE IN YOUR ARM!

The couple at the back? Moved in Saturday afternoon and were fighting by 8pm. Not the "You jerk, you slammed my hand in the corner when moving a bed" type fighting. The type where he slams things, she begs and pleads and cries and it sounds like things are breaking.

I swear, suburbia is looking better all the time.

When G came yesterday, I told him what I heard Monday AM. He said "Ah honey, why don't we have those fights?"

Why? We're fucking adults? The kids next door can't be more than in their early 20s. She's knocked up and he appears to not have a job. Awesome. Young, dumb and full of....

This is what prompted the ML post. We don't fight. I always worry when married couples say that, but we don't. We don't have issues that keep bubbling up. I know there are things I do that annoy him. I know *that look*. He does things that annoy me as well. Rhonda and Troy used to Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I was there for a few. I also thought "Well, better out than in, right?" Apparently not. 20 years later, look where she is. I dunno man. I just don't know.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH?! Can we just have nice neighbours JUST ONCE!?!? I had the screaming hellion children in HK and now I am dealing with what sounds like borderline spousal abuse in Australia. If it wouldn't come back on me, I'd call the cops every fucking time they started up.

Why can't I have nice neighbours who love each other in a non-verbal way?